Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Firstly, the blogger keyword of the day, given to me on Richard Madeley's blog: phpup.
Well, it'll vary, of course, but to my knowledge the arterial pH of a dog should hover around 7.4, provided it's not panting. (The dog, not the pH.)
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There are times when I just Don't Get It.
Browsing amazon.com, I click on a book with the ponderous title Changes in Cardiovascular Risk Factors During a Two-year Intervention Programme among 13-to 15-Year Old Children and Adolescents (The North Karelia Youth Project) (Paperback). Authored by Erkki Vartialnen, published 1983 by the Research Institute of Public Health. Nothing odd so far.
Don't ask me why a Chicago resident equally far removed from Karelia, cardiology and social work would want to own this publication. It's for my novel. Everything I want to read but can't justify buying is for my novel. At least that's what I'll be telling the IRS when I write it off my taxes.
Anyway, I scroll down to the section called "Tags customers associate with similar products," and... well, how about I just show you, okay? Here is the full list of tags Amazon customers associate with products similar to this book.
(Just a reminder, the title is "Changes in Cardiovascular Risk Factors During a Two-year Intervention Programme among 13-to 15-Year Old Children and Adolescents (The North Karelia Youth Project).")
Tags:
vampire romance (230)
spirituality (184)
vampire (169)
travel (152)
romance (147)
circus (140)
memoir (136)
digital photography (130)
afghanistan (127)
xmen (2)
o_0
Well, it'll vary, of course, but to my knowledge the arterial pH of a dog should hover around 7.4, provided it's not panting. (The dog, not the pH.)
----------------------------
There are times when I just Don't Get It.
Browsing amazon.com, I click on a book with the ponderous title Changes in Cardiovascular Risk Factors During a Two-year Intervention Programme among 13-to 15-Year Old Children and Adolescents (The North Karelia Youth Project) (Paperback). Authored by Erkki Vartialnen, published 1983 by the Research Institute of Public Health. Nothing odd so far.
Don't ask me why a Chicago resident equally far removed from Karelia, cardiology and social work would want to own this publication. It's for my novel. Everything I want to read but can't justify buying is for my novel. At least that's what I'll be telling the IRS when I write it off my taxes.
Anyway, I scroll down to the section called "Tags customers associate with similar products," and... well, how about I just show you, okay? Here is the full list of tags Amazon customers associate with products similar to this book.
(Just a reminder, the title is "Changes in Cardiovascular Risk Factors During a Two-year Intervention Programme among 13-to 15-Year Old Children and Adolescents (The North Karelia Youth Project).")
Tags:
vampire romance (230)
spirituality (184)
vampire (169)
travel (152)
romance (147)
circus (140)
memoir (136)
digital photography (130)
afghanistan (127)
xmen (2)
o_0
Friday, January 11, 2008
Sensitive junk mail
Despite the industrial-sized recycle bin that dominates our building's mailroom, I prefer to take all my personalized junk mail upstairs, to terminate it with extreme prejudice in the privacy of my own flat.
Tonight, my haul included several fee-free pre-paid super-exclusive credit card offers. One of them made me pause as I fed its paperwork to my shredder. It was a credit card offer from (Big_Firm) - the first in my experience. Besides ad booklet and the card application, the envelope contained an insert which was folded in half and labeled on the outside:
"PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THIS UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED TO SAY NO."
What on Earth is there left to talk to me about if I've already said no? thought I and opened the insert.
Inside was the following text:
"Frankly, I'm surprised at you. The (Big_Firm) card offer is ever so wonderful! It's free, and you can use it at thousands of (Big_Firm) gas stations and affiliated grocery stores! I sincerely hope you reconsider, or else my opinion of your good character will suffer horribly. Signed, Chief Vice Cunt of (Big_Firm)."
As you may have noticed, the bit towards the end was paraphrased, but otherwise, the text is quoted near verbatim. How do you like that, now? My junk mail is scolding me for not complying with it.
I'm now awaiting the next set of offers from this company. I expect they'll have the following text appended to them:
"If you persist in your refusal to sign up for our service, special (Big_Firm)-licensed vivisectors will procure in your name and sodomize a litter of fluffy kittens."
Tonight, my haul included several fee-free pre-paid super-exclusive credit card offers. One of them made me pause as I fed its paperwork to my shredder. It was a credit card offer from (Big_Firm) - the first in my experience. Besides ad booklet and the card application, the envelope contained an insert which was folded in half and labeled on the outside:
"PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THIS UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED TO SAY NO."
What on Earth is there left to talk to me about if I've already said no? thought I and opened the insert.
Inside was the following text:
"Frankly, I'm surprised at you. The (Big_Firm) card offer is ever so wonderful! It's free, and you can use it at thousands of (Big_Firm) gas stations and affiliated grocery stores! I sincerely hope you reconsider, or else my opinion of your good character will suffer horribly. Signed, Chief Vice Cunt of (Big_Firm)."
As you may have noticed, the bit towards the end was paraphrased, but otherwise, the text is quoted near verbatim. How do you like that, now? My junk mail is scolding me for not complying with it.
I'm now awaiting the next set of offers from this company. I expect they'll have the following text appended to them:
"If you persist in your refusal to sign up for our service, special (Big_Firm)-licensed vivisectors will procure in your name and sodomize a litter of fluffy kittens."
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